Page # 3
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Four Catholic mothers are sitting around bragging about their sons, each of whom is a priest.
When he walks in
the room - people greet him
Fred's convertible glided to a halt on the edge of a lonely country road. "I suppose," said his pretty but reluctant date, "you're going to pull the old 'out of gas' routine."
"No," said Fred, " I'm going to pull the 'here after' routine."
"The 'here after' routine? What's that?" she wanted to know.
not here after what I'm here after,
is working down South and during his show a hick stands up and yells,
You been making smart-ass
remarks about us southerners being stupid all night long!
"Relax" said the ventriloquist, "They're just jokes!"
talking to you!" The hick replied,
My penis is 12 inches long, but I don't use it as a rule.
Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip, they rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods, they spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing,
but they don't catch anything.
As they're driving home they're
really depressed, one guy turns to the other and says,
The other guy
A police officer pulls
over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the traffic lanes.
The man says, "I'm
sorry officer I can't do that, I'm an asthmatic.
"Okay, fine, I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
I can't do that either,
I'm a haemophiliac.
"Well, then we need a urine sample."
"I'm sorry officer I
can't do that either, I'm also a diabetic.
"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I'm so sorry officer, I can't do that either."
"Because I'm drunk."
A guy comes home completely drunk one night, he lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy.
"Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands.
"At this fantastic
new bar," he says.
Guy says, "Sure there
The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day she checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon.
She calls up the place to check her husband's story.
"Is this the Golden
"Yes it is," the bartender answers.
"Do you have huge
Golden Doors ?"
"Do you have Golden
"What about a Golden
Then the woman hears the
Lots - MORE Jokes
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